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Reason #284 To Wish We Had Graphic Design Skills

Slate recently commissioned pulp covers for classic books and honestly, we can imagine no better tribute to the great works of literature. You may think we're kidding or being smart alecky, but we're not. The idea totally appeals to our respect for things both high and low.

In fact, we're so charmed by the idea that if we were graphic designers, we'd be hard at work right now, crafting pulp covers for our favorite books. 

Imagine all the bodice-ripping, scandal-insinuating possibilties for titles that sound juicy [The Lover, The House of Mirth, Portrait of a Lady] or abstract [One Hundred Years of Solitude, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Speak Memory] or just plain dull [Housekeeping, In the Lake of the Woods.]

Nite Lites

Real flowers might be pretty, but the sad truth is that they've failed to evolve to the point where they are as good as their plastic knock-offs. 

Luckily, some cheesy company [one we assume also ushered in the pink plastic flamingo revolution] now makes it possible to plant plastic flowers in your garden.

Apart from the obvious advantages of plastic flowers [totally xeric, long bloom periods, unlikely to attract aphids], there's a suprise bonus: These are solar-powered. They collect the sun's energy, then their fiber-optic stamens glow all night long.

Top that, Mother Nature.

The Joy of Reading the Small Print

Don't know about God or the devil, but clearly there's some good fun to be found in the details.
[via A Socialite's Life]

 

Not That Sperm-Covered Blue Dress

It seems there's another blue frock in someone's closet that's covered with sperm -- although this time, the sperm doesn't appear to be Presidential.
This vintage dress was a hot item on eBay last week by an online thrifter a reseller who bought a dress originally advertised as "polka-dotted."

On closer inspection, however, polka dots aren't what came to to mind. [Click on dress to see the "polka dots up close.]

The reseller -- who was thrilled with the sperm detail -- played it up and the dress fetched an impressive $250.

Considering all he publicity that The Gap got at the height of the Bill/Monica scandale, we'd like to see the chain store make a similar profit off of an inspired pattern.

After all, if Gap designers were to rework this concept into a line of fresh and flirty spring dresses, then every girl could have a sperm-covered dress tucked away somewhere in her closet.

It's About Time

How great is this:
A company named Talus has invented a watch that won't tell you the time, but it will give you a basic idea. For instance:

1:11 = Going on 1 Fifteen
2:57 = Just shy of 3
4:39 - Pushing quarter of 4
6:58 = Around 7 o'clock

Boing Boing's gurus say that being this vague and imprecise is quite the technological achievement. The watch operates on some sort of computer logic that was "impossible a decade ago."

We, on the other hand, have been vague and imprecise for well over a decade. Does this mean that we're ahead of our time?

Yet Another High-Tech Mobile Device

That rare and overpaid breed -- the people tasked with the arduous job of designing sleeping bags -- have figured out an entirely new and high-concept way to make sure your tootsies remain toasty during your next camping trip. The new Selk Bag was a huge hit at the Cologne Furniture Fair (don't ask us why this = furniture).

Clearly, this bag could come in handy should you need to trek into the woods on a frosty night to pee.

Still -- with the exception of those who've taken a vow of celibacy -- we believe this particular concept might strike some of us as having one or two minor design flaws.   

Cycling Makes Your Head Light Up

As pseudo-cyclists, we used to believe that bike shorts and jerseys were about as fashion-challenged as it got.      
Oh, how naive we were. These helmet covers are guaranteed to make cyclists look even more ridiculous than we already do.
Click the above pic, and watch the brain flicker and light up, as in: This is your brain after a really good ride.

UPDATE: Glow-in-the-dark skeleton jersey adds to the anatomic chic. Hey, it's a look. [via Boing Boing]

The Zombie Vote

No, by zombies, we do not mean those Fox-News-watching, SUV- driving, Megachurch-attending morons responsible for re-electing Bush.

For once, zombies and Bush-loyalists are not the same thing.

Earlier today, our cousin - Mountain Dewd - tipped us off to Homecoming, a highly buzz-worthy Showtime special airing tonight.

The premise: Dead -- er, make that undead -- soldiers killed in Iraq emerge from their stateside graves and terrorize war-mongering Republicans. Wonkette raves that it's fun for the entire family. 

Zombies? Political satire? Republicans-as-appetizers? Oh, we're so there. Or we will be as soon as it's available on Netflix.   

On a related note: Toys for those proud to live in a Red State.

Daily Affirmations

If we understand self-help manuals correctly, humans benefit from pasting up little Post-Its with messages to remind us about our blessings and goals or with sentiments for general boosting of the soul.

Unfortunately, doing this is way too lame for 98.5% of the world.

Fortunately, there is graffiti.

We've book-marked Pictures on Walls for our daily dose of inspiration and soul boostage. [Click to enlarge]

Meet the Puggle

Move over schnoodles.
There's a hip new crossbreed on the scene called a Puggle (Pug + Beagle).

The mutt just made the cover our alma mater, The New York Post, as the latest power pooch, and if you believe the paper, (which you really shouldn't) the $900 dog is coveted by everyone who's anyone.

Frankly, you had us at Puggle. But one fan sealed the deal by describing them as the "equivalent of breeding a Marc Jacobs bag with a Louis Vuitton."

We better leave it at that. Our interns are starting to hyperventilate with the excitement of it all.