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Wardrobe Malfunctions

Missed the Golden Globes?
Here's the official lowdown. Here's some backstory. Here are best and worst photos.

We only caught snippets of the show, but saw enough to know that Natalie Portman was a total knockout, Keira shone and Reese looked adorable in that white Chanel dress.

And we noticed that several starlets had bra emergencies and cleavage issues. 
• Drew Barrymore. Two words: Foundation garments! Two more words: La Perla!

• Gwyneth Paltrow. She's pregnant and elected to wear a something that actually looked more like grandma's table cloth (it belongs in the "what were you thinking?" category. We have no idea what she was doing on stage; we were far too fixated by the bra-strap creeping down her arm.

• Mariah Carey. It was the Emancipation of Mimi, alright. Or perhaps, the Emancipation of Mimi's mammaries. 

• Virginia Madsen. We love you, girlfriend, but not that dress.   

• Pamela Anderson. We don't know what to make of this dress, but we can only assume that her breasts have gone into mourning.

• Scarlett Johannson. We weren't crazy about the Farrah hair or hooker red dress, even though we love Scarlett. Apparently, this guy likes her too. [via The Superficial.]

Golden Globes 101

A few things that might make watching the Golden Globes more fun tonight. Want a complete list of nominees? Click here.

1) Look for drunken behavior, slurring and forgetfulness during the acceptance and/or presentation of awards. The Golden Globes are always a lot more fun than the Oscars for one simple reason: Booze. The stars sit at round tables and get loaded during the festivities. This explains why starlets are usually in the loo when they are called up to accept their award.

2) Tonight's presenters include Lindsay Lohan, who's apparently over her coke binge asthma attack; the totally predictable irrepressible humor from the cast of Will & Grace; the startling fashion snafus savvy of Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh yeah, and Mariah Carey's presenting too. This pretty guarantees that someone will do something regretable.

3) Play the "Yep, You're on Camera" Drinking Game. The rules? When the camera pans on a star, take a sip when they smirk, wink, grin or raise an eyebrow at the camera; two if they smile with stomach-churning false modesty; three if they holding up some bubbly. Polish off your entire drink if they turn screentime as their own personal mirror, and check their teeth for spinach. 

4) Unfortunately, America not terribly progressive, even if Brokeback Mountain sweeps the awards. The electoral body, in this case, are the totally obscure members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. They may influence the heartland, but are hardly cut from the same cloth.

Share your pics for the worst dressed star of the night. We'll try and do the same.

Under Pressure

Now that our movie compendium is finished, we turn our attention to the latest thing to capture our attention: The pressure cooker. It's a useful kitchen gadget for skilled cooks, and a complete hazard to the brave, but foolish.    

It all started last week, when we brought home two dozen mussels and, as per the fish-monger's instructions, nurtured them with love and patience until we dumped them into a simmering cioppino broth. Tasty, but not so great for the karma. 

Luckily, we remembered that back when we lived in Brooklyn and cooked all the damn time, we'd splurged on a fancy Kuhn-Rikon pressure cooker. It's great for grains, beans and other flex-a-terian foodstuffs that don't destroy one's karma. So we poked around the neglected recesses of our kitchen cabinets to recover the mighty but volatile machine. 

And we're falling for it all over again.   

And Our Favorite Movies Are...

At long last, we're back with our most favoritest movies of the year. And the honors go to:   

5. Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
What We Liked: Wallace's cheese addiction; Gromit's anal tendencies; the Were-Rabbit, who may be the cutest villian of all time; the dry, goofy British humor
What We Didn't: Not being claymation fans (those dancing raisins always sort of annoyed us) or familiar with Wallace & Gromit, we were totally surprised by the movie's wit and whimsy. 
Haiku Tribute: 
Cheese is just so great
Why the rabbit wanted veggies   
Is so beyond us   

4. Grizzly Man
What We Liked: The bear footage; watching the utter stupidity of the guy; Hertzog's strangely powerful voice; the juxtapostion of traditional Native American views on nature contrasted with the dude's unique brand of hubris.   
What We Didn't: Though its certainly no fault of the filmmaker, it is disturbing to watch someone who is obviously emotionally unbalanced as he commits suicide.    
Haiku Tribute:
Bears are super big 
They look so cuddly and nice      
Do not be fooled 

3. Capote
What We Liked: Phillip freakin Seymour Hoffman - he's brilliant in this movie; the danger of telling hard stories; how obtaining the story makes Capote's literary reputation, but also becomes is undoing; Catherine Keener; the subdued winter color and tone.
What We Didn't: Further proof that writing can be hazardous to one's health.
Haiku Tribute:
Non-fiction is fraught 
With unexpected loyalty      
Truth is a peril

2. Lords of Dogtown
What We Liked: The skating; actor Emil Hirsch; the combustible force of the three young personalities; skating in pools; skating down streets; skating the pier; oh, and did we mention the skating? 
What We Didn't: The final scene - the Dog Bowl - seemed a bit hokey, and it didn't surprise us later to learn that the central character of that scene is a composite. The film-makers apparently fabricated a plotline to eke out more emotion - and the result felt kinda cheesy.   
Haiku Tribute:
Bored teenagers   
Ride empty swimming pools   
A new sport is born

1. Junebug 
What We Liked: The clash between urban sophistication and down-home values; the outsider art thread woven throughout the movie; the outsider art itself; the nearly unbelievable naiveté captured by actress Amy Adams; Alessandro Nivola; the strength and often unseen ties that keep families together. 
What We Didn't: That more people haven't seen this movie yet. Add to your Netflix queue immediately!   
Haiku Tribute:
Appreciation 
Keeps you outside looking in      
Love is tangled up

[Ed. Note: Agree? Disagree? Feel free to sound off with or without your own Haiku Review in the Comments section.]

 

Best Movies of 2005, Pt. 3

We're plunging into red carpet season, and we're onto our Top 10 favorite movies of the year. Below, our reviews (via haiku): 

10. Downfall
What We Liked: The hyper-casual way the Nazis shot themselves (and others) during the final days of Hitler's reign; the insane calm of a mother as she murdered her children in Hitler's bunker; the story's tight focus; Hitler, as played by Bruno Ganz.
What We Didn't: How the film made us view Hitler as a human being. It's a credit to the film-makers, yes, but it is also a little sickening.
Haiku Tribute: 
Hitler's Germany fell
The Nazis died in chaos   
Go straight to hell, boys   

9. Murderball
What We Liked: The haunting stories; their competitive spirit; how quickly and easily clichés about the paraplegics are shattered. 
What We Didn't: We didn't really understand the rules of the game. To us, anyway, it difficult to track what was happening on the "court."      
Haiku Tribute:
Wheelchair-bound athletes
Try to win Olympic gold    
Fierce competitors   

Best Movies of 2005, Pt. 2

We continue with our trip down cinematic memory lane. Next up on our hit list are:

15. The Constant Gardener
What We Liked: Rachel Weisz; the beginning; the ending; the way the story was presented.
What We Didn't: Ralph Fiennes always seems a bit freaky to us, especially after his performance in Red Dragon.
Haiku Tribute: 
Big pharma scares us
But they makes for great villians 
And get away with it. 

19. Shopgirl
What We Liked: The sumptuous look and colors; Jason Schwartzman; Claire Danes, at times.
What We Didn't: How disconnected the girl's life seemed from normal life; Claire Danes, at times.    
Haiku Tribute:
Shopping for gloves and love
A silver fox buys the world   
We prefer the geeks 

Best Movies of 2005, Pt. 1

As many of you know, we here at Scribblista are a bit slutty when it comes to movies. We'll see just about anything, but we give our hearts to very few of the many, many movies that we see.

As the critics compile their lists, we've come up with our 20 Top Films of 2005, complete with a Haiku Review®. Here they are, in reverse order:

20. Pride and Prejudice
What We Liked: Devoted as we are to the A&E/BBC's Pride & Prejudice, this big-screen revisit was completely winning in its own right. We got lost in the look and feel of this version, even without Colin Firth.
What We Didn't: Despite the critics' adoration of Keira Knightley, we personally think she's a bit of a lightweight.
Haiku Tribute: 
Austen's classic again
Empire-waist ballgowns charm us
We love period chick-flicks

19. History of Violence
What We Liked: Director David Croenenberg; Ed Harris and his scarred-up face; Viggo - now that he's escaped from Hobbitville; the focus on the complex relationship between violence and entertainment; the pervasive dark humor.
What We Didn't: No much, actually.   
Haiku Tribute:
We hate to admit it
Closing our eyes to bloodshed 
But it thrills us too