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Beever Art

[As personal dominatrix physician to Scribblista, I have prescribed her a couple days bedrest for a recent carpal tunnel flare-up. Now that she is tied to the bed indisposed, I am making a one-time guest appearance.
--- Enjoy! Dr. Oll]

If seeing is believing, then Julian Beever—famous English artist—has just added you to his list of republicans fools. Using pavement as canvas, Beever bends two-dimensional chalk drawings into startling 3-D objects. This sidewalk performer is not working for nickels either; he counts Coca-Cola, Sony, and Rembrandt art supplies among his patrons.

[Ed. note: We here at Scribblista would like to  thank Dr. Oll for the guest post. If she ever gives up her day job involving whips and chains treating sick people, she is welcome to join our staff, although blogging does pay a bit less than medicine.]

Days of Reckoning

Tut tut.

Studio heads really should know better.
First, they let Tom Hanks walk around with that hair. Then they overhype the Da Vinci Code to such a degree that surely no one on the planet is excited about this movie anymore. And --  being that we're largely oblivious to things Judeo-Christian --  that whole *controversy* they've generated & milked had to contend with seems kind of ho-hum.

However, it did lead us to spend some quality time poking around Apple's Movie Previews, because we suddenly feared that there'd be nothing worth seeing in the coming months.

In terms of the summer's most anticipated duds movies, the only flicks that catch our eye are Johnny Depp in that pirate movie and The Omen, mostly because of our longstanding crush on Liev Schreiber and their fun marketing campaign.

But this is the movie we really can't wait to see.

The Road to Sophistication

We here at Scribblista take great pride in exposing our readers to high culture whenever possible. So we are thrilled to direct you to two high-concept videos that are sure to boost anyone's appreciation for the arts. [Trust us, they're worth a look.]

This is a six-minute primer on the history of dance.
And this, well, let's just say it's a fitting musical tribute to President Bush.

Your Slip Is Showing

The latest poll reveals that -- among other things -- all the pop has gone out of Bush's popularity.

Traditionally, this is when the White House's elite force goes on Fox News to insist that the Emperor's clothes are extraordinarily red, white and blue.

But that elite force has been subdued, now that each loyal mouthpiece now has a significant liability attached to his name.

• Karl Rove = Scooter Libby/Judith Miller scandal and the blatant lies egregious errors about the WMDs.

• Dick Cheney = Propensity to shoot buddies in the face during a beer binge hunting trip. Plus, he radiates too much hatred towards the world at large.
• Donald Rumsfeld = Widely despised and openly chastised by those damn liberals retired military generals.

Which leaves just Condi Rice to spin the tale. But instead of trying to reassure the public that the Emperor's clothes are just dandy, she's busy getting him a whole new outfit in Iran.   

Don't Hold Your Breath

And what are we to make of David Blaine?

We actually had no idea that this bozo was up to another one of his televised gimmicks until we read about his failure to hold his breath for five minutes or something.

But we quickly made up for our ignorance. Not because we're interested in his stunt or the multiple maladies that resulted from his stunt. We read a bunch of articles & posts because we were fascinated by how different publications -- respectable and otherwise -- chose to describe Blaine.

Check it out:

• The New York Times called him a modern day Houdini.
• The AP called him an illusionist.
• The NY Post called him the water bubble-boy. [Gotta love that.]
  
• E! called him an endurance artist. [Try saying that with a straight face.]
  
• The normally scathing Gawker & Defamer called him a magician. [Ouch! Actually, if one reads further down, Defamer regains some snark mojo and dubs him a "sopping wet attention whore."]

In the end, we believe there's one simple word that captures all that is David Blaine: He is a boob.

Five Lame Excuses

We apologize for the infrequent posts for late. We could take the high road, ignore the issue and/or actually come up with five reasonable excuses for this breach.

Instead, we'll present you with five lame excuses:

1. The dog ate our computer. [In fact, he does have an annoying habit of licking our computer a lot. And we have seen him eyeing the corner like it's a potential chew toy.]

2. It's really nice outside. [This implies that we actually go outside.]

3. There's a lot of turbulence in our off-line lives [More incentive to stay online?]

4. New York Times crossword puzzles. Babble. WEBoggle. [At last, the truth comes out.]

5. What good is the web, if the mainstream media can now openly bash Tom Cruise? [OK, seeing as we actually have very little interest in Tom Cruise, it probably is time to shut up and re-enter the blogosphere.]

Nite Lites

Real flowers might be pretty, but the sad truth is that they've failed to evolve to the point where they are as good as their plastic knock-offs. 

Luckily, some cheesy company [one we assume also ushered in the pink plastic flamingo revolution] now makes it possible to plant plastic flowers in your garden.

Apart from the obvious advantages of plastic flowers [totally xeric, long bloom periods, unlikely to attract aphids], there's a suprise bonus: These are solar-powered. They collect the sun's energy, then their fiber-optic stamens glow all night long.

Top that, Mother Nature.