scribblista

But Is It Art?

Is it just us, or does it strike anyone else that it's totally weird that the military flaks opted to put this photograph in a frame?

Or perhaps while we've been busy grousing about the war, bombing became an art form.

Your Slip Is Showing

The latest poll reveals that -- among other things -- all the pop has gone out of Bush's popularity.

Traditionally, this is when the White House's elite force goes on Fox News to insist that the Emperor's clothes are extraordinarily red, white and blue.

But that elite force has been subdued, now that each loyal mouthpiece now has a significant liability attached to his name.

• Karl Rove = Scooter Libby/Judith Miller scandal and the blatant lies egregious errors about the WMDs.

• Dick Cheney = Propensity to shoot buddies in the face during a beer binge hunting trip. Plus, he radiates too much hatred towards the world at large.
• Donald Rumsfeld = Widely despised and openly chastised by those damn liberals retired military generals.

Which leaves just Condi Rice to spin the tale. But instead of trying to reassure the public that the Emperor's clothes are just dandy, she's busy getting him a whole new outfit in Iran.   

Misspoken Word Poetry

From the "He's A Poet & Didn't Even Know It" dept:

One of our favorite readers sent us this poem comprised entirely of Bushims. It's been out there forever, but only made it to our inbox yesterday.

Anyway, each line has been diligently researched by the Googlers factcheckers at Urban Legends, who painstakingly nailed down the occasions when Dubya waxed eloquent.

         MAKE THE PIE HIGHER!

    I think we all agree, the past is over.
    This is still a dangerous world.
    It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
    And potential mental losses.

    Rarely is the question asked
    Is our children learning?
    Will the highways of the Internet
    Become more few?

    How many hands have I shaked?
    They misunderestimate me.
    I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.

    I know that the human being
    And the fish can coexist.
    Families is where our nation finds hope,
    Where our wings take dream.

    Put food on your family!
    Knock down the tollbooth!
    Vulcanize society!
    Make the pie higher!
    Make the pie higher!

             

It's Hard Out There For A President

Thanks to the two-pound tyrant in our lives, it's been tough to follow all the happenings on the Hill.

So imagine our surprise today to wake up and learn about the GOP mutiny (Mutiny! How sweet the sound!!) taking place against Dubya. There's the rebellion against the ports in Dubai. There's the general waffling over surveillance issues.

Overall, it seems clear that members of the Republican party want to distance themselves from the Bush Administration faster than you say, "We didn't know the levees were going to break."   

Apparently, Republicans finally noticed that his latest approval polls have hovered around 34% for a few months now and the NY Times, et al. are busy parsing out the reasons behind this shift.

But we think the reason is obvious:  Cheney shot his buddy in the face and that was one metaphor that no one in the Republican party could miss.

Jaws Meet James Bond. James Bond Meet Jaws

Everyone knows that sharks are not to be trusted.

But now that the Pentagon is funding a research project to implant and re-engineer sharks' brains in order to turn sharks into spies, we have even more reason to be suspicious of these those mindless and savage beasts.

Or is that the bait scientists at the Pentagon?

In any case, we seem to remember a movie named The Deep Blue Sea about another group of scientists who messed around with shark brains. You can guess what happened to them.    

The Cosmopolitan Room

Yep. If cosmopolitan is a diner in Kansas.   

Uh, Did I Already Say Evil?

We all know Bush is just an ape who surrounds himself with crooks, thugs and liars....      
So is it really any surprise to discover that his handlers recycle his speeches. Read how verbatim it gets here.   
Guess Team Propaganda is so infatuated with phrases like "evil Islamic radicalism," they gotta keep hearing him say it...  [via Blurbomat]

Scooter Gets His Freak On

We can hardly believe how weird this is.

Raunchy fiction and politcal scandal just collided in ways so bizarre, we're still kinda dazed. And we want to go take a shower.

Seems Scooter Libby authored a salacious novel in 1996, featuring kiddie sex, bestiality and animal abuses that should get the fur flying at PETA. The New Yorker just published excerpts from his masterpiece, The Apprentice. Here are some twisted bits: 

At age ten the madam put the child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls so the girls would be frigid and not fall in love with their patrons.

Mr. Fitzgerald Goes to Washington

Guess this -- in all its nervous, stammering, earnest glory -- is what speaking truth to power looks like....

For those who missed Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald's press conference today, we must say that we were quite charmed by his slightly shaky, unpolished demeanor. He almost makes politics seem wholesome.

Gee, They Really Are Base

Our President has discovered why it is unwise to play to the lowest common denominator. A member of his administration is quoted in the NYT's worthwhile news analysis on the worst week in Bush's political career:

"There's all this talk about the Republican base and the conservative base of the Republican Party, and how it's important to play to the base and please the base and fawn over the base," said former Senator John C. Danforth.

"And look what it gets President Bush. It just gets him a kick in the rear. That's what they've done to him, and they've done it to him at a time when he's vulnerable, and they've done it at the expense of a perfectly fine human being [Harriet Miers]"

Surprise, Mr. President. Your base is made up of assholes. [Photo via A Socialite's Life]