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Oprah Redux: Our Two Cents

[Ed. Note: Scribblista has been usurped today by our bossy big sister, Opinionista, who gets a little uppity has strong feelings about literary stuff. Meanwhile, we're off to get a pedicure.]

UPDATE: We just saw this and all we can say is wow.

Here's the thing: I'm not entirely thrilled with what happened on Oprah and A Million Little Pieces or the likely outcome.

I'm not defending James Frey here. Not at all. I think that at best, he's confused; and at worst, he's a buffoon who tried to puff himself up and continues to profit from it. I found it strange and riveting to watch him get skewered on live TV. If you missed it, here are some video links.

But I firmly believe that writing is full of gray areas and we're the better for it. What bothered me about Oprah was that it seemed to establish a new standard for memoirs and non-fiction. The general public walked away thinking:

1) It is possible to render personal experiences or events in some objective, black & white manner and; 
2) It's a bad thing when this doesn't happen.

Golden Globes 101

A few things that might make watching the Golden Globes more fun tonight. Want a complete list of nominees? Click here.

1) Look for drunken behavior, slurring and forgetfulness during the acceptance and/or presentation of awards. The Golden Globes are always a lot more fun than the Oscars for one simple reason: Booze. The stars sit at round tables and get loaded during the festivities. This explains why starlets are usually in the loo when they are called up to accept their award.

2) Tonight's presenters include Lindsay Lohan, who's apparently over her coke binge asthma attack; the totally predictable irrepressible humor from the cast of Will & Grace; the startling fashion snafus savvy of Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh yeah, and Mariah Carey's presenting too. This pretty guarantees that someone will do something regretable.

3) Play the "Yep, You're on Camera" Drinking Game. The rules? When the camera pans on a star, take a sip when they smirk, wink, grin or raise an eyebrow at the camera; two if they smile with stomach-churning false modesty; three if they holding up some bubbly. Polish off your entire drink if they turn screentime as their own personal mirror, and check their teeth for spinach. 

4) Unfortunately, America not terribly progressive, even if Brokeback Mountain sweeps the awards. The electoral body, in this case, are the totally obscure members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. They may influence the heartland, but are hardly cut from the same cloth.

Share your pics for the worst dressed star of the night. We'll try and do the same.

The Spoils of War

One lazy Saturday, we caught an episode of My Super Sweet 16  on MTV -- a show about how spoiled teens plan their 16th birthday parties. 

In case you didn't know, turning 16 now entails:
• Trying to get Beyonce to play your private bash, ("Daddy says $500,000 is too high!")
• Shopping sprees at Saks ("Gucci? Versace? It's so hard to choose!")
• Hysterics about parents ("They're so mean!"), rivals ("I can't believe she wants an invitation!") and crashers ("Let them eat cake!").
• Bitching after the party ("That might have cost $25,000, but without a rock star, it's nothing special.")

Well, turns out she was right. A 13-year-old in New York just got Daddy to book two floors of the Rainbow Room for Mitzvahpalooza. Her party planners then tapped 50 Cent, Stevie Nicks, Don Henley and Aerosmith to serenade the kid.

Her Daddy wasn't mean at all. And how did Daddy afford all this? He's a defense contractor, of course.

From Eyeliner Jokes to Somber Faces

We hate it when this happens, but the nomination of hyperconservative Sam Alito means we no longer have the luxury to mock the Supreme Court with our feeble stabs about Hallmark cards and make-up faux-pas.

Alito's nomination brings Roe v. Wade - an issue Bush wanted to avoid - into sharp focus. Christian Conservatives are spoiling for a public battle on this issue, and they're about to get their wish. Here's the NYT's link list to important political blogs - ones that rarely make cracks about eyeliner - that explore where the battle lines are being drawn. 

And damn those Christian Conservatives. They've managed to bait us right out of normally somewhat sarcastic, aloof stance. If this is one fight you -- like me -- won't be able to back away from, head over to Planned Parenthood's blog to prepare for battle.

Meanwhile, we'll start combing Alito's past to find a few embarrassing personal quirks. 

X-Mas Comes Early?

The idea of an imploding Bush Administration has filled the entire Scribblista staff with merry, good cheer. This morning's headlines left us feeling like we'd just unwrapped a stack of presents from Tiffany's, Barneys, Saks, Sephora ....
Anyhoo, we've compiled a short list of why it feels like Santa's come early.

Style Counseling

From the mailbag:

Dear Scribblista:
Normally, I love this time of year, and can't wait to show off my new fall outfits. But, when I went to update my wardrobe the other day, I instantly got woozy. I popped two Xanax, but this was no ordinary panic attack. This was a full-blown reaction to the godawful accessories we're expected to wear this season.  
I mean, grommet-lined boots? Metallic brocade flats? Pumps macraméd from grandma's blankets?  Ruched purple hobo bags? Pom-poms on furry mukluks? Bottle-cap studded belts? Python flats?  Please, tell me its all just a bad dream.  -- Harper's Bizarre

Five Reasons to Dislike Nature

[Ed's Note: The ideas expressed herein are not those of Scribblista. They belong to her bossy and neurotic sister, Opinionista]

All right, I admit I've got a few unresolved Mother Nature issues. My shrink traces it back to this one terrible summer I spent stalking bears with that silly dude in the new Werner Herzog flick, Grizzly Man. (You should see it. Movies really are the best way to experience all that nature has to offer.)   

Anyway, my point is that the "great" outdoors are a sham. Mother Nature is a malicious old hag with a single purpose -- to mess with our collective human buzz.    

My vision of utopia can be summed up by Robert Smithson's new public art piece, Floating Island. This is exactly how nature should be enjoyed! By confining the wilderness to a single barge, we'd be able to limit the many ways that it has of spoiling the mood.   

Skeptical? I'll prove it:   

Can't Dodge This Bullet

Seems the White House is looking for a new target to take the heat for Katrina: The media.

Bush's new "well, howtheheck was I supposed to know" strategy goes something like this:

"When that storm came by, a lot of people said we dodged a bullet," Bush said. "When that storm came through at first, people said, 'Whew.' There was a sense of relaxation... And I, myself, thought we had dodged a bullet. You know why? Because I was listening to people, probably over the airways, say, the bullet has been dodged. (Salon)

He goes on to imply that the White House's superslow response to the NOLA crisis occurred because the media (the media?!) had lulled him into a false sense of relief.

Meanwhile, the Wall Street Journal quickly puts the kibosh on the latest bit of his nonsense with a thoughtful and extensive play-by-play on how the coverage unfolded on the news channels.

Put simply: Don't blame the messenger.